Not So Ginger Beard
by Jim 'Lucky' Gordon
Shortly after commissioning at sea [1966] , Ojibwa was running on the roof opened up, I was on watch on the helm when "Domestic Routines" and "Heads and Wash Places are Out of Bounds" was piped.
Looked Like the Player's Jack Tar
The Leading Seaman of the Watch, Scouse Keogh was up on the bridge as lookout and could not hear pipes. Scouse was long-in-the-tooth and a bit of a pompous sort. He had an immaculate ginger coloured beard and looked every bit like the model for the Players Cigarette Jack Tar. Another hand on watch went up to relieve Scouse and he was supposed to come below and relieve me, a mere Able Seaman and the junior hand of the watch.
Tried to Warn Him
As Scouse stepped off the ladder into the control room, he gave me a condescending glance and strutted aft towards the heads. I called to him to warn him that the heads were out of bounds; but, before I could complete the phrase he quickly turned to me and wagged his finger like he was chastising a naughty school kid.
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'Scouse' in later life.
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"Tut! Tut!"
He was notorious for not relieving the watch on time and thought I was about to complain as it was my stand down time that he was cutting into. So having tacitly reminded me that Able Seamen should be seen and not heard, he turned and proceeded to the first trap and shut the doors
He was notorious for not relieving the watch on time and thought I was about to complain as it was my stand down time that he was cutting into. So having tacitly reminded me that Able Seamen should be seen and not heard, he turned and proceeded to the first trap and shut the doors
Shutting the Door Meant One Thing
Shutting the doors meant one thing. #2! As an obedient lackey my mouth was shut, but with a smirk from ear to ear, I had a difficult time maintaining course on the helm now because I was craning my neck aft with one eye on the first trap door
Taking his Time
Scouse was really taking his time on the throne but eventually I saw the doors open and one foot step back out of the stall so that he could effectively aim the flushing valve along the side of the bowl for that perfect swirling action.
Traps on the left and Control Rm in distance
The helm is the black panel facing the passageway. |
Requires Careful Observation
Now it was not unusual for the seals of the tank top valve to become fouled considering the material flowing past it. And, invariably, it would not 'seat' properly allowing some of the high pressure air to seep back past it into the soil just below the flap valves of the heads.
The air pressure in the soil pipe would usually force the flap valves tightly shut maintaining a good head of pressure below them. So, there he was bent over face down, carefully observing the action in the bowl, then with the practiced movement of an experienced submariner, at precisely the right instant, bowl three quarters full of water and …other contents, swirling perfectly in a clockwise direction, when up came Scouse's foot and down it went on the pedal. |
Whoooosh!
50 pounds per square inch of air pressure all the way from that humming sewage tank, about a gallon of sea water and the remnants of about three meals of his own, like Old Faithful, right in the moosh.
Getting Your Own Back
Talk about getting your own back. He dropped the hose and slammed back against the radar mast well cowling. His impeccably groomed beard was no longer ginger. He had bits of toilet paper hanging off his eyebrows, nose and ears. He was wild…!
It was well worth the extra time on the helm.
It was well worth the extra time on the helm.
'Lucky' smirking. (probably barely 18 at the time)
For the more technical aspects of using the heads/traps/toilets click on the button below. |